One night me and my friend had a really crazy chat on Whatsapp, it was so amazing that I want to share it with you to make you laugh as hard as we did! I have shortended the chat a bit and so, hopefully you can understand our stupidity :P Unfortunately I lost some parts of the chats but most if it was saved. We are crazy, I know that, but I ask you not to bring us to a
mental hospital, thank you. ^.^
...
2:39 AM
Friend: I have a copying machine. We can make money as we want Jess.
And by the way, I will build a city in the middle of Antarctica called "Loda and Jessi". City for peace and love and weed and football and macaroni and we have a small part for sex..
Me: They will notice it's fake.
And really in Antarctica? It's sort if cold there
F: I make warm machines
M: Ahh
F: And no. I write under it "it's fucking real u fucking fu kers"
M: And what about the climate change?
F: We fu king love u all
M: XD
F: Btw, penguins will be the workers in it.
And who disoreds us, we throw him for them and they will slap him till death xD
M: Oh nooo
What about peace?
F: Come'n.. I'm Loda.
I've a machine.
It brings dead back alive again xD
M: Ahha
F: So we make him alive again and he will hearn the lesson
M: So we don't need to kill anyone if they can be alive anyway
F: Nah.. The slapping till death hurts anyway
And.. Every hot girl who wants to come to city has to pass my royal room.
And we will bring Suvan there.
Kidnapped -.-
M: And you'll make a baby with everyone?
F: :) ... No. Condoms are there xD
And.. In your room we will tie Suvan naked in your bed xD
M: Can I marry him there
The condoms will freeze
F: Of course.. the penguin priests and sheiks will do it xD
Warm machines -.-
M: Wonderful
The ice will melt
We'll all be in sea
F: No..
I manage it to not melt the ground
Don't worry
Btw, I will be the king
M: And I'm again a slave
F: no..
U r my sister
So u r a princess -.-
M: Where's my tiara
F: Wa? :O
M: Tiara
Princesses wear a tiara
F: Ok I got you one -.-
M: Awesome
F: Tiara means plane in Arabic xD
M: Ohhh
I don't need a plane
F: Oki..
Btw.. We are in peace yeah..
But if anyone wanted to take my perfect city
I've nuke penguins who will be put in rockets. And I will shoot London.. and England
M: London is in England..
F: Anyway
Suvan.. -,- Won't be in the royal family even after marrying u
Cuz.. He isn't a pure person full of madness like we -.-
M: Then what will he be
F: Just the husband of the princess
And btw.. I won't marry
M: Ahaa I see
F: Cuz she will make me lose my empire xD
M: Yeah when you die your son will be the king so you don't wanna marry.
But when you die and you don't have sons
One day our son will be the king
F: No -.- I give the ruling to my adopted son
Or no no
I give it to Anna and Elsa :'3
Cuteness will rule the world <3
M: What's wrong with my son???
And they'll be old when you die
My son is younger
F: No. I have a machine. It makes them be young forever
Ur son has half of your genes
Ur sisters have all genes
M: Argh now you're pissing me off
You say there's something wrong with my husband?
F: His genes -.- No madness or crazyness
It's the exam not me!
The penguin priest says so xD
M: He's maybe not crazy but he's clever
F: This means he shall not have place with us
M: You're mean
F: We are a stupid crazy society
M: Right..
And Elsa and Anna are crazy like we then?
F: They are cute
Cute.. Beats all xD
Suvan isn't. No place for hotness xD sorry
M: Oh what if my kid is cute??
He's cute too you've seen
F: Ur sisters are cuter
M: His eyes omg
F: -.- He is an adult
I'm the only adult ruler
Also I won't die cuz of my money and my machine ;)
How smart I am xD
M: Ah.. Why would you want to live forever when your land would be in good hands
F: I make your sisters share ruling with me
I will adopt them :'3
M: Why not meeeeeee
F: Then after some years I die and let them have it
M: I'm your sister
F: U r not cute
M: Aren't they your sisters then too?
F: No.. u r a chosen sister xD
They are chosen sons xD
M: Oh I see
F: Oh god.. I'm sitll a good politician xD
M: This is your opinion of good politics and ruling?
F: XD hahaha, I rule all or cuteness rules all
M: That's very clever
Cute people often are dumb
F: Don't care
System in my city
M: Our
F: Can make a donkey rule xD
-.- U r good xD
M: Right cuz you're a some kind of animal
F: Fuck u ... xD hahaha.. omg xD
M: Nope
That'd be incest
F: However..
If you want your husband is joined in the royal family
And your son has a right to era
M: Why did you change your mind
F: He will take the army and conquer the north empires
M: Why do we need an army
F: If he wins, he becomes a prince. And his son may be a king
Cuz.. no peace anymore
It's boring..
M: Heyy it's the place of peace and love and weed and frozen flowers
No war
F: World won't let us be alone
So we have to eat them earlier
M: No we're separated from the other world
We're in Antarcica no one comes there
F: They can attack us we have so much technology and money
M: Yea but they don't know it
It's our secret
It's like Narnia
A whole different world where even the laws of physics aren't the same
F: I've machine that will turn the world.. to the middle ages xD
We make it
And then I and Suvan will conquer the world
And.. you let us die and you rule the world xD
M: That's not quite my style
F: Narnia.. Ahd too much homo animals xD
M: Penguins can be homos
They're cute
F: They r homos xD hahahaha oh god i cant stop
Besides I will make you have a special power
M: A special power?
F: You touch anything you're mad of.. You turn it into weed but not humans xD cuz I won't smoke humans xD
M: Oh gosh
F: So I won't be surprised if all the guns in the world will be smoked soon xD
M: Imagine that amount of weed
HELL yeah I'll make peace in the whole world
F: Ozone atmosphere will fuck us xD
M: Nah it's not that bad
F: Btw.. our army won't have normal horses like them
Our army will have unicorns
And I will have a flying unicorn
M: Do armies have horses nowadays..?
F: The machine u dumb!
M: Omg unicorns :3
Why do you want the middle ages
F: Cuz I like that time
M: Why do you decide everything
F: Cuz I'm your elder bro..
And you love my ideas
M: But it's our world dude
F: And the city idea is mine -.-
M: You wouldn't have gotten it without me
F: Ok
However, I still will conquer Africa first and take the iron and materials in it
M: Why are you so greedy bro
F: And make better weapons and make a bigger army
And send Suvan and a huge army to conqueer Asia
U wll rule the empire cuz I will be busy
M: This is not my dream land anymore if you can't get those areas with flowers and weed
F: And then I will head to Europe
I have to clean it first
M: I would be happy living in our own little place, just we crazy people and no one else. The world outside wouldn't even know about us
F: no.. We rule the whole world by our rules
Better than they attack us
M: Again you're magalomanic
F: Come'n sister.. They are so bad
M: We don't need to be bad too
F: At the moment.. Me and you are discussing moving the armies or now xD
M: Have you asked Suvan's opinion? He's leading the army
F: He wants to join the royal family
He will do anything xD
Also my younger brother is ready
M: Ah -_-
F: He is crazy just like us.
Send him alone to Europe, he will conquer it
But he asked you to give him a dinosaur from your zoo xD
M: You're giving your brother more advantage than to my dear husband
He can have anything what he needs
(Were there dinosaurs in the middle ages?)
F: Don't ruin the image!
M: Oki
A great army heading to Europe riding brave.. dinosaurs
F: Hahahahaaha.. Roony conquered England first. Then he headed to London
M: London is in England dummy.
F: After that he went to Paris, in Denmark
And had a great battle there
Crossed the ocean to reach Italy
And the Romans trapped him there. So he asked help
M: Are you good at geography?
F: And so I asked u to go and help him cuz.. I'm in bathroom
U found a Ferrari unicorn
With 12f. 15g. Muscles in the wings. And rader. And ghost. Moving xD System xD
And the unicorn said to you.. Roony needs help
M: What the actual fuck
F: While you are on your way he told you you will arrive there too late and he dies. Then only Loda left to be killed and you will win the crown.
M: How would you be there faster
F: I'm in bathroom
With a Russian whore
I will take some time xD
U save my my bro girl!
M: I'll do what I have to
I'm afraid but I won't let the fear blind my mind
F: That's so nobel
When you reached there with ur great army sunshines were hitting their eyes from your back
And you won the battle
And my brother was saved. So he said that he owes you
And asked me where I was. I said I was sleeping and didn't hear my phone xD
F: After we ruled the world I said to you Jessi "Look at my white hair.." I didn't know it was snow -.-
I said to you that I can't rule the whole world anymore
So I said that I will send every royal member to rule a part
I sent Roony to Europe
And Elsa and Anna to Europe.. It's warm there and their capital will be on the coast
And Suvan to Asia, he looks like them..
And you will be my wice kind
M: O.o
F: And then I was going to die..
There is wise president
M: I have to be with my husband
F: Replace it with king
M: And you said you won't die
F: No.. Asia is too wild for you xD
And I changed my mind
M: :'( :'( :'( :'(
F: I was going to die.. All roayl members came
M: Oh i see, you want to be a great hero so you'll have to die
F: I had to choose one
:'D Dramafuckinatic xD
However, I said to Roony, you are my blood brother and you are a good commander. But, you love dinosaurs more than unicorns.. You won't be a good king
M: XD
F: Then said to your sisters.. too much cuteness, the world doesn't deserve you xD
Then.. passed by you.. Fuck you, you are ruling since I started to build the city. The hidden hand -.-
M: Yeah they're too dumb anyway
Hidden hand?
F: Then I looked at..Suvan
You are the one.. You fought well and you served me well.. But, the problem is you are married with Jessi. I won't let her be the queen
So he says to you, I don't wanna know you anymore! xD
M: Nononononono this part went wrong
F: I say then this means you are an unloyal fucker for your wife.. Then neither your people
M: Our son will be the king like I already said
F: Then I stand and say. You all fuckers want me to die
And I said Jessi, you are the hidden hand..
Had a son.. In two months don't know how and he is 18 now
Fuck genetics
M: Ahha
F: Anyway.. I pushed the red button
Ninja penguins jumped on you all
And I said I rule all fuckers. And I put you in a zoo :) But Elsa
and Anna were out cuz I was swearing and out them in my palace
You and your husband and Roony are in zoo
Beside the gorilla xD
M: No this is too rude
F: I've your son..
M: We needed to rule together
Our land
F: You cheated
You had a son and wanted to kick me out
M: I didn't ever cheat
F: Now I adopted him xD
M: You can't do that!!
You have absolutely no right to take my son!
F: His name is.. (whatever).. adopeted to Loda but don't tell it. I don't want to hurt his feelings
M: You could have gotten married and have your own son instead of fucking Russian whores
F: Come'n.. Russian whores are cheap xD
Anyway.. You escaped the zoo
Roony ate the fence of the cage
And you there went to Asia xD
M: Ohhh
F: To make a rebel in India
By elephants
Cuz elephants are facing rasism because of dinosaurs
M: Ahhaa
F: Suvan talks elephantic well
M: xD
F: So he could convince them. And while I was sleeping I heard horns of elephants surrounding my place
And you three riding an elephant
So I went and you said you want the crown
I said it is on my dick.. Come and take fuckers. Showing middlefingers to all elephants
Then showed my M60
All elephants raised their hands up and your attempt fails
So I cought you again and put you under the pyramid
I rule the world don't forget ;)
M: How could this end up like this?? Our peaceful little city
F: Turned to a mad world of my own creation
But then while I was eating Anna came to me with her drawing note
I saw her drawing us all.. Writing one big happy royal family
So I cried :'(
And then I noticed a dick in her paper O.o which was a unicorn's horn xD
However, I tool mu 4*4 car
Went to get you out
M: How could you do all this
F: I'm the writer xD
M: Dumb
F: xD hhhhhh
However, I got you out
Roony said that to accept my apologize he wants to be king
And you want your son
And Suvan wants himself
I wanted the Russian whore again.. So I let you argue a bit while I had fun
Then I came back and you are still arguing
M: Hahhah
F: So I said, to solve it everyone will rule a day
Jessi, then Suvan, then Roony.. Then me and my adopted sons
Jessi.. it's your turn first
U rule today :'D
M: Sons??
F: Cuz I'm a good guy I take sons.. Orphans
However you are ruling
Dinosaurs are fucking the world up
And gays want their right of getting married
M: I'll just give weed to everyone :)
F: I cant breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeee xD
Hahahahahaaaaaahaha
M: Take it easy boy
F: In your day all the people were high
M: When I rule no one is fighting, there's just rainbows everywhere
F: of course.. lots of rainbows
And smoke xD
M: Peace and love, hippie style
F: Your day finished, Suvan's day
He made a law that Indians can have any visa to everywhere
And elephants will have diets
M: Whaaaaaaat
F: And Indian songs will be our national songs
And we have to dance like them
M: Bollywood movies everywhere
Shah Rukh Khan is the god
F: Hell yeha so.. Roony druged him witha drug called "plzplzplz enough this is too fucking much" xD
M: Xd
F: And then Roony's day
He made all people watch Egyptian theatres
M: Ewwwwwwh
F: And who beats me in footbal videogame will have money xD cuz he can't beat me xD
M: Looool
F: However his day ends and my day comes..
I said I want to have a son.. Send me all the women on earth and I choose the hottest
I kept fucking all say..
M: You're horrible
F: So.. The country went well, no wars
M: You can't have a son right now
We already have!
F: Genetics -.-
M: Fuck you
F: I take the gametes from the fucked women and make them men in a couple of days
And I made 1000 sons
In one day
M: O.O O.O O.O O.O O.O
F: I'm sexy and I know it xD
M: You're horrible and you should know it
F: :'D
I want to put a son to rule every city on earth
I still have work to do xD
I made a law that every city has to showl the hottest women in them
M: You have just one day you wont' succeed
F: And if they don't do it.. I burn the city down
I will.. Let them take their time, a couple of weeks
M: You have a weird way to rule..
Now I'm wondering what the hell just happened
F: There will be a judgement day
M: Judgement day?
F: To clean the mess
M: The mess will be cleaner when it's my son's turn and he makes everything like it was in the good times and he listens to his mom's advice
And loves and respects his dad
F: Listens to his mom's advice!
M: And becomes a good king and makes everyone live happy until the end
F: You won't stop ruling -.-
M: I'm not ruling but he's too young
F: I poison you. Sister you take my crown
And later I will feel guilty and I kill myself
M: No no I want to keep my tiara
F: I bury you with it
M: My son will be the king!
F: At least not when I'm alive
M: Yes darling you didn't want to marry and this the law how the new king is chosen
F: He rules by the book I gave him and he reads it daily. How to be a good f**king king in Loda's way of thinking. And fuck anyone else especially my sister.. Your mom kid, don't listen to her.. Make people have whores and money :'D
That's the book's address :)
M: No he's as wise as his parents and he will find his own path and way to rule
F: First two pages teach how to make different types of midfingers xD
M: You're a horrible uncle really
No wonder why Suvan doesn't like you
F: He will be a real well-educated king xD
M: you're a bad role model
F: I'm the king I do what I want
M: You're not anymore
You're dying and wanted to choose a new king
F: I make a day, law that all women will be naked in street and no man will be in street. And the women I choose they take her in a car behind me xD
I wanna enjoy before my last days xD
M: No wonder why no one ever wanted to marry you....
You're old already and still a fucking playboy
F: I'm still healthy xD
Anyhow sister, who will rule?
Roony wants, your sisters want, Suvan wants, you want and your son wants
And there is a smell of farting xD
M: Whttt
F: I said don't let elephants' park beside the palace
Your husband's elephant -.-
M: Ahhhh
F: Farting like hell
Who should I choose?
M: It's already decided who will rule
F: O.o
M: My son
Or better no one
F: Roony won't like that
M: The nature
The birds, the animals, the wind, the fire, the water, the plants and flowers
F: He owns most of the army. And Europe. He is from my royal blood (awesomeness)
He will fight for the crown
M: Eh he's a loser
You'll throw the crown into the ocean
And even once in your life be wise like your sister
F: Roony married your sisters. That's a hella cool political move ;)
M: He's too old
F: Hehehe they are underage but still it can happen there
He is 13 -.-
M: Elsa is 9
Anna 4
F: Elsna xD
Cool for him
M: Surely.. as her sister I won't allow this marriage, I will protest
F: He will stop thhe protest
M: Ugh
F: I said
Who solves the puzzle will win the crown
"Smells like shit but makes us cry. We hate to cut it but we must fry. So damn useful more than you see. If you can guess what it is meant to be?"
M: And what's the answer
F: So my Russian whore said
Onion xD
I said hella richtig xD
M: Oh no
F: The Russian whore won the crown
And she made a law that this story should fucking end now xD
The end of the story
A Russian whore ruling my kingdom xD
M: That's so wrong
I will use your time machine and go to some good time with my husband and live happily ever after
The end
4:55 AM
...
