True. But your "as long as possible" seems like a lie too because it wasn't long. You didn't even try.
My favourite question is "why?". But often the answer either hurts or leads to more questions, or both. Who could answer my silly and childlike questions about life and this world that I leave unsaid? I'm getting crazy because of my silent wondering and overthinking. It simply makes my brain some pink jelly that runs out from my ears. Soon I will notice that I'm laying on the floor, paralysed, unable to move or say a word. Just a shadow of what I used to be, like an ugly sea cucumber.
Can you just please get out of my head, okay? You don't deserve as much attention from me as you're getting. And what do I get from you? Umm, nothing but empty promises and the existence of your absence? I miss the old you who would say I'm different to others and there's something special about me. I don't know if you even remember that we used to talk all nights and I totally fucked my school and some friendships because of you. But that doesn't even matter.
I really miss you, though I shouldn't and it's not worth it.
The emptiness your absence is leaving has started to feel almost normal.
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