Letter to Alcohol

Saturday, 22nd March 2014

Dear Alcohol,

There are some things in my mind that bother me, they have bothered a long time actually. They include you. I have never really talked about them and now I think it's the time to tell you about my feelings. It's not very easy for me to tell what I have in my mind and heart but it might not be good to keep everything inside forever. I hope you are understanding. Sometimes my opinions are quite strong and strict, and hopefully you can look at yourself from a different point of view after reading this. 

You have always been in my life in a way or another, almost 18 years. It's a rather long time. During that time I have learned to know you well, I have seen you from a very close distance, I have seen what you can do. But I bet you don't know me, you have no idea who I am and why I am writing to you. That's your way of living; you make yourself famous and give an image of you that shows you're really coold and a good mate. People want to know you because they think that knowing you can make them famous, cool and popular too. But that is just a coulisse, the reality hides behind that. You are crafty, you tempt people but what do you actually give them back after all?

You make people forget when they have trouble, problems and sorrow. As if you gave a shoulder to lean on, but then suddenly you disappear and the leaner falls down. Then he has to find you again but every time it's more difficult. People can forget for a while with your help but afterwards they feel even worse and the problems haven't faded away, they might actually have got worse and more complicated or you can create new problems in addition to the old ones. Do you enjoy it when people desperately want to get to you and you just tease them, look at them contemptuously and laugh because they are so pitiful?

Sometimes you can help people to relax and have fun though. Some people are too clever to get into your trap and they just safely keep you far enough. Then you can't harm them and you might be disappointed. I wish everybody understood to have a good distance to you, but unfortunately some have let you to control their lives. In my opinion people can have fun and party without you as well, you don't need to be invited to all fun. 

You are cold. Selfish. Do you even care for anybody? I don't think so. You make people to a bad condition and they are not able to think clearly. Your presence causes many kind of harm. Physical, mental and social. You harm the body and mind of the one who is too attached to you, people easily fight with each other, they can break places and themselves, they get too addicted and that can lead to anything. Besides violence, suicide, illnesses, criminality, cigarettes and drugs are your good friends. I doubt you have made some kind of deal with HIV and unwanted pregnancies. And what about the people around drinkers and alcoholics? You probably don't understand what they feel like. How could you. If there is an alcoholic in the family, they whole family suffers from that. I know what I'm talking about... Then comes the society and eventually the whole global world that you affect.

So many times you have made me sad. Depressed. Lonely. Frustrated. Tired. Neglected. Misunderstood. Forgotten. To lose my belief of a better tomorrow. I know I will be that in the future too. But I try not to care about you, I will ignore you as much as possible. I won't let you ruin my whole life though you have already started. I want to be happy. I can't get rid of you and I don't actually even want to be completely without you, but you will never be able to control me! I'm stronger than you and you're not allowed to fool me! I blame you of many things and I will never forgive you. I wish I could just forget it all. 

Why did you ever come to my life? Why do you even exist? 

Sincerely, 

      Sof