Endlessly changing

Everyone changes when time passes. It's pointless to say someone I'll never change for it's not true. We change all the time, purposely or without noticing. I think life's not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself a person you want to be. How could we even find something that is in an endless circle of change? In the end you're the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with so you have to deal with yourself and be a person with whom you can live.

People change the most when they get hurt. They go trough something hard and learn to see the world and people in a new way. That's the time when they learn about themselves too and might find completely new sides of themselves they didn't know that exist.

Sometimes it's scary actually how much, fast and suddenly things can change. It feels like just yesterday everything was completely different. The world's not the same anymore, you're not the same anymore. People around you don't even notice that anything has changed or then they see it and get overworried. It feels bad when something inside you has changed, in a good way, that things seem to make sense now, but your friends or family don't like the way you have changed and can't accept it. Or if something goes in a bad way and nobody cares and is there to help you. It's difficult to tell about worries or for example if you think you're depressed and if nobody notices it and gives you their helping hand you might feel and be very alone with your trouble and heavy heart. That's when you finally get to know who your real friends are who always stand by you till the end, no matter what. Good friends understand you, or try at least and most importantly don't ever judge you or your thoughts and doings without a very heavy reason. It feels awful when someone very close to you turns to something he or she said they would never be. But there's a reason for everything, people should be more understanding and empathic before going away from the one who changed. If someone changes in a radical way, it's definitely the time he or she most needs friends and support, not fakers who leave them alone with all the weight on their shoulders.

I changed a lot in a short time. I don't actually know why. Some bad things happened and maybe they opened my eyes, it's not such a beautiful world we're living in. People are bad, though some are real sweethearts and always want everything good for others. But most people are selfish and greedy, they don't have any respect towards anything.

Maybe I'm not as nice as before, but it's because I don't want to be walked over or get used. I don't trust everyone because behind the fake smile can hide a real bitch who really doesn't give a shit about others. Perhaps I distance myself from people but only because I'm afraid that they will leave me alone when I most need them. But I still believe there's something good in everyone, there still are good people. But it feels difficult to find them and separate from all the trash.

I have changed, but I'm always being myself. I'm not showing a fake face to anyone. I don't give a damn about the people who can't accept what I am, I won't try to please everyone, I will try to please myself and be confident and gorgeous myself. Because that's all that matters in the end. The real people will always stay by your side, the others slightly disappear. But that is only life, though it sucks sometimes.